


With Out You

by Dips_Mananda



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 15:11:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dips_Mananda/pseuds/Dips_Mananda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Jake gone, where does that leave Dirk?</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Out You

Bottles litter the floor. Some have the remnants of whiskey or vodka sitting in the bottom. At the table, a form lays prone, fast asleep. That form is me, Dirk Strider, and I have been living with the loss of the man I held dearest, Jake English. I haven't been coping very well. Jane and Roxy come over constantly to try to get me to eat something, but I have no appetite. What's the use of staying alive if Jake isn't here. He made me feel...alive. Ironic, I know, because I don't want to be alive. This life isn't worth living without him. I haven't eaten in a week and I'm too weak to move on my own. I'm pitiful, but then again I always have been.  
Jake brought life to our little group. His boyish charm and loud way of speaking just seemed to brighten everything. Its no wonder I fell for him. It still amazes me that he ever fell in love with scum like me. He's gone now though. There's nothing here anymore to keep me alive. Hope surges through me, thick and warm and light. It pushes back the dark cloud of depression, and I feel calm. I can do this, I live in an apartment 50 stories up. The fall itself will kill me, hitting the water will make sure of it. I feel more energetic than I have in days.  
I'm up and out of my seat in one move. My knees and legs shake with the effort of expelling energy I don't have. I grab paper and a pen and scribble down a note for Jane and Roxy. 

_Dear Jane and Roxy,  
I'm sorry you have to find out this way. I cant live with myself anymore. I cant live without Jake. You most likely won't find my body. It will have drifted out with the tide by the time you see this. I love both of you, and again, I'm sorry, but at least you won't have to deal with scum like me.  
Love, Dirk Strider. _

After signing the paper, I folded it once and placed it on top of my katana, placing both on the place where I had rested at the table. I dragged myself over to the window, tugging weakly until its own enough to slip out. I manage to make it to the roof, resting on the edge. I stare down at the water, swirling and dark. The swirls mesmorize me for a minute, distracting me from my purpose. There's no need to rush, its the middle of the night and Jane nor Roxy will come until morning. I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. _'I'll be there soon Jake.'_ I release my deep and pull in another, the cool air chilling me to my core. I can only imagine what the water will feel like if I do survive.   
I take what I hope will be my final breath, and lean forward. My feet lift off the edge, and I feel like I'm flying. The feeling's not too far from falling off my hoverboard. The wind whips around me, pulling at my hair and clothes. I open my eyes and cast my shades off, flipping to throw them back onto the roof. I can see them land on the open sill of the window. I look back up to the sky, the moon filling my view and close my eyes for the final time. I feel my heart, my dead heart, stutter to a stop. Then everything is dark and painless. I can see a light, and at the end, in the light, is Jake. He's smiling sadly, one hand reaching out to me. I run, flash stepping and I ram into him, my arms wrapping around him in a vice grip. I feel his arms go around me, and I'm home. Everything goes white, but it doesn't matter. I'm with Jake, and that's all I need.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank any of you for reading this, I had fun writing this.


End file.
